Has the phrase “Broke the internet” become the most overused and undeserved saying since Kim put a champagne glass on her ass a few years ago? I feel like every month we hear of someone “breaking the internet” only for it to be fixed and broken by someone else. The only person who has successfully broken the internet is Ralph, and the only reason I know that is because Hollywood told me.
OK so they didn’t technically break the internet, but they set the record for fastest instagram account to 1 million followers in a shade under 6 hours. And while the Guinness stans are joining forces with the Royal stans to make this seem like a huge deal, people are overlooking the fact that these two have a shared instagram account.
You know what people share instagram accounts? People with deep seeded issues that are masking their insecurities by portraying their life with someone to mask the reality of their everyday life. You think the Dutchess isn’t a little messed up from her crazy dad and weird family? And Harry has been second fiddle to his goofy looking brother his entire life. Not many people realize Harry is a badass who flew combat missions and is as good looking as a red head can get because his brother came out first.
They broke the record that was set by K-pop star (had to look that one up. Thought K-pop was some sort of cereal infused with ketamine) Kang Daniel, whose name sounds like his parents had an infatuation with Daniel Craig after seeing Casino Royale and made their kids name similar enough to their hero without asking questions. I, on the other hand, will have zero shame if I have a son and will name him Tom Brady Bowles.
Rounding out the top 3 in fastest accounts to 1 million is the cool Pope Francis. That was back in 2016, though, and the entire world didn’t know he was down with all types of people. The Vatican needs to delete his account and start a new one so he can reclaim that number 1 record. Number 1 in Catholicism and Instagram; two categories that would never in 2018 years be associated but here we are.
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