This Youtuber Did NOT Have Sexual Relations With His Cat

Shane Dawson wants to be crystal clear that he did not, in fact, fuck or cum on his cat.

This entire tweet was a rollercoaster from the first sentence to the last. I like how he followed up the fact that he did not fuck his cat with the fact he did not cum on his cat. Kinda redundant, no? Somewhat of a double negative. It leads me to believe that he did, in fact, fuck his cat. Or at least cum on it. I’m not sure which statement cancels out the other but either way, he got kinky with his pussy. And not doing anything weird with his cats? Pal, if rumors are swirling you stuck your dick in a feline you for sure have done some weird shit with your pet. I knew a kid in middle school who put peanut butter on his balls so his dog could lick it and video tape it and it wouldn’t surprise me if Shane stuck cat nip up his ass and made his cat claw it out.

I think my favorite part of the tweet is the unknown length of this thread. After he states very clearly he did not have sex with his cat and he wont on to post 8 tweets about how he was innocent and the rumor started from a joke he was workshopping for a skit. That’s a flat out lie but lets pretend he was workshopping a joke. Don’t all comedians pull events of elements of their personal life to incorporate into their routines? So homeboy sorta told on himself while trying to defend himself here.

And since I’ve never heard of this guy I have no idea what “last years thing” is but I can only imagine he was “workshopping a black joke” and an N word got tossed around or something along those lines. It’s astonishing how dumb these people that are my age or older are.

If Shane had ignored this in the first place nobody would be talking about it. He has a huge following on twitter but those people support him; by posting this thread it only spread like wildfire to people like me who see it and think it is the funniest, most absurd tweet that probably has some sort of truth to it. There are two routes to go in a situation like this: don’t acknowledge it and let it die quickly. Or say sorry and move it. Shane chose option 3 which was to spread this to every sect on twitter so people who have no clue who he is can make jokes about him fucking a cat. What a world.