Australia is introducing us to emoji license plates soon and I gotta say- what took so long? Emoji fever has been in full effect for 5 years now and only perpetuated every year thanks to petty NBA superstars and horny teenagers. It only makes sense that we put them on our cars. All of the rich kids that get Benz’s and Lexus’ for their sweet 16’s will now be getting Jetta’s but with license plates that have the heart-eyes, a smile and two cucumbers.
Will this be the next type of poor shaming? If you don’t have an iphone everyone laughs and calls you a poor. If you ain’t riding around telling everyone you got a cucumber in your pants and live-laugh-love through your emoji-plate how can I be friends with you?
This was coming soon enough. With everyone forgetting how to, ya know, use letters to make words and instead just sending gifs, memes, and emoji’s words just aren’t cool anymore. Why send a heartfelt message to a friend when their grandma passes away when you can just chose the sad emoji to react to their post or text about it? The pace at which the written word is being expunged from everyday use is rivaled only by how fast crossfit hardo’s like to tell you they do crossfit.
Please, America, bring these E-plates to the States. I need to tell everyone behind me I’m an angry driver that that’ll smile and flip you off if you tailgate me when I’m going 50 in a 45.
Bowles' Blog 