I was making lunch the other day and was very much looking forward to my turkey and cheese sandwich. I’m a simple guy, ya see. While I appreciate a nice, fancy meal of lamb chops with risotto and a gravy with a name I can’t pronounce, I generally keep it plain. My entire senior year of college I had three meals- chicken and rice, pasta, or cereal.
So after I lathered both sides of the bun with mustard and mayo, I looked and, much to my chagrin, there was only one piece of turkey left. Already too far into this to not eat, I scoured the fridge to see what else was in there and I settled on bologna. I ate a bologna, turkey, and cheese sammy like a savage. It wasn’t gross per se, but also not the best combo. It did get me thinking, however, what the grossest thing I ever ate was.
Just because I don’t crave the expensive doesn’t mean I don’t try the weird. The last thing I am is a picky eater. I’ve swallowed squid, tried turtle, and eaten eight legged creatures. But none of them compare to what I vividly remember as the most disgusting thing I’ve had, and it was a creation of my own doing.
I was on a kick where I put honey on EVERYTHING back when I was 15. You name it, I put honey on it. We were leaving on an early flight to Aruba and I decided to make a quick something before we got on the plane. If you’ve read this far you might know where this is going, but it started with turkey and cheese. Can’t have that without mayo. Then came the honey which, if it ended there, would’ve probably been fine. Then my dumb ass decided to add bacon to it. Raw bacon. What the fuck was I thinking? RAW BACON?? I’m shocked I didn’t die! I threw up as the plane took off and immediately after we landed. And the stupidity in me blamed it on the honey! Haven’t had honey since, don’t plan on diving back in any time soon.
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