So I’ve been noticing a disturbing trend at my local deli lately. Every Sunday for the last 5 years I go to the same deli and make my cold cut choices for the week. It’s always a pound of land-o-lakes white American and either turkey, roast beef, or even bologna. There will be no bologna shaming on this here blog. It is delicious and goes with anything just don’t ask where it comes from.
Anyways the quality of my meat and cheese isn’t the issue, its the way they are packed. It is damn near impossible to get one piece without ripping it now because it’s like every single piece is glued together! I end up ripping an entire chunk out of the cheese which results in countless half and quarter pieces being scattered on my sandwich and back into the bag. And the same goes with the meat! You know when you buy something that has one of those stickers super glued on it and you always leave parts of it on whatever it is you bought when you try and take it off (sidenote: use a blowdryer and heat it up first then you wont have this problem)? That’s what it is like with my turkey. I get half a piece of two slices so I end up with an overly thick “slice” that screws up the consistency of the sandwich! And there is nothing more important than consistency, folks. I’ll let you in on my sandwich making techniques. If I’m using bread, its meat, cheese, meat, meat, cheese, extra half piece of cheese. If it’s a sub roll I take a piece of cheese and wrap it in the meat and make four raps, 3 for the base of the roll and one on top that covers portions of all three.
And all of this is impossible when I’m ripping chunks and half pieces out of my ingredients! It’s like taking away Thor’s hammer. I can’t make the best sandwiches when my equipment is failing me. So for any deli worker out there, please, make it so we can easily peel apart our cold cuts. I beg of you.
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