I saw this floating around reddit this morning and it got me thinking- what would I be ashamed of? First I eliminated what isn’t on my phone. My nudes- never taken one. I can layer up and look somewhat presentable but once the clothes come off it looks more like a bag of milk. Texts from friends. HA! Like I’d have those. There are three people that text me- my girlfriend, my brother, and the Nigerian prince who keeps needing more money to make me millions. Starting to feel like I shouldn’t have given him that initial tree fiddy. I’m not artistic, like, whatsoever, so my notes aren’t filled with failed jokes or wannabe rap lyrics that detail my rough, middle class upbringing.
No none of those are on my phone. But what is on my phone? Emails. And not the amount of unread emails I have (hovering around 3,000). Feel like that is becoming more and more common. Everyone gets spam emails from websites that they either didn’t sign up to receive emails from or did for a promotional code (shoutout ooze) and just never unsubscribed.
Quick note about that. Even when you unsubscribe they still send you emails. That should be illegal. Can net neutrality fix that? Still don’t know what that is but remember everyone causing a fuss. Still haven’t noticed any difference so idk but someone please make that stop.
No. I have 8 different email accounts on my phone. I don’t even know how they get there. Do they automatically sync when you create a new one? I have email accounts from when I was 12 so I could watch a youtube video on how to beat Bowser in Super Mario Sunshine, my old high school and college emails, the one I used when I had a brazzers account that one year, and a few more. If someone saw I had THAT many accounts on my phone, they’d think I was the second coming of Buffalo Bill, setting up different emails to lure people to my lair.
I’d honestly rather have an underwhelming sex tape or devastatingly embarrassing pictures of, well, who knows, than people realize I am a psycho with double digit email accounts.
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