Bezo’s is getting divorced and, shocker, leaked texts dating back nine months show he was involved with Television anchor Lauren Sanchez. A billionaire- wait no- the guy with the most billions in the world, having an affair, is the least shocking news. However, now we get to see just how he bagged the big boobed Sanchez, and it wasn’t through his endless zero’s, it was his charming and witty words that seduced the busty beauty.
Remember, we’re grading these on the “54 year-old married for 25 years scale” so he gets some leeway. Lets dive in!
First up- “I love you, alive girl. I will show you with my body, and my lips and my eyes, very soon.” I like how he’s easing his way in with this one. He’s not sticking his nose up her ass quite yet, but letting her know that 1-he loves her because she is, in fact, alive. And 2- He is going to love her with his whole body. He’s not just going to finger her with his right hand, he’s going to oil up his whole body and rub up on her like a nuru massage.
“I want to smell you. I want to breath you in.” It’s ass eatin season, folks! Good to know that even though he’s a little older he is caught up with the trends. Good to know that if Ms. Sanchez accidentally lets some gas out Jeff will be on his knees gobbling up that steamy air while telling her he’s just breathing her in. Will she thinks this is a little weird? Maybe, who knows. But if she can’t get down with a little sniffin ole Jeff will find another woman who will bend over and let him stick his mouth in her ass while she farts so that she can go buy literally anything she wants.
“I want to hold you tight… I want to kiss your lips… I love you. I am in love with you.” Nice of Jeff to come back down here and reassure Lauren that he is just a normal guy looking for love. I can picture his robot arms squeezing her so tight while they go forehead to forehead so he can read her mind and figure out how the female brain works. Good luck, buddy. Nobody knows.
All in all, not bad for a guy in his mid 50’s who may or may not be plotting to take over the world. When you’re that rich and as distracted as he is it can be tough to remember how to get a little freaky. He started slow, came on a little strong, but then made a smooth landing to reassure her that he loves her and nobody else.
Bowles' Blog 