Are we ready to have this talk? I feel like everyone whispers in hushed corners about how much they love pooping, but are too ashamed to boast to the world their feelings about their bowels. Why, though? Everyone loves to talk about farts. Who doesn’t laugh when a sneaky squeaker slips through the cracks (literally)? A fart is basically a poop, but it doesn’t carry the same stigma as a fart. I’m here to change that.
The other day I watched my dog take a massive dump. I mean, this thing weighed no less than 12 Courics. And when he finished he immediately went into a full on sprint around the yard, like he just expelled all the demons in his system, and humped his brother. Nothing better than a poop and pump. Anyways, I wish it was acceptable for me to run around my office, or my house, after I pooped and let everyone know. “Hey, Chris, I just lost 3 pounds and it wasn’t because of nutrisystem!”
That’s another tihng that baffles me. The average poop weighs between 2.5 ounces and one pund? THAT’S IT? I juflata out do not believe it. I’ve unloaded what was not less than 5 pounds into a toilet many times in my life. If you’re telling me that it only weighed 1 pound, tops, I would call you a liar.
Anyways, we should all feel comfortable talking bout poop. Except girls. Girls don’t poop so they can’t talk about it.
Bowles' Blog 